THE RIGHT TO DIE WITH DIGNITY

At our age, many of us would probably have seen death up close in people we know and love. We have seen the acute pain and intense discomfort they have to endure, hour after endless hour, week after torturous week.

The doctors tell us to pray and hope for the best, but prepare for the worse. They assure us they will do everything they can for our loved one. 

But is this what our loved one really wants?  The person we once spent happy times with is now a shadow of himself, emaciated and barely able to recognize us through the haze of pain. There are tubes and drips hanging above his bed. He is hooked to machines that monitor his vital signs. He knows his death is a matter of time - a few months if he is lucky, or a few years if he is not. For him, the end-of-life is slow and agonizing.

Most Canadian doctors oppose physician-assisted
suicide. (Click here for more.)

There is no quality of life for him. He wants the doctors to pull the plug on all the machines that are keeping him in this vegetative state. He doesn't want the doctors to prolong his suffering. He wants to exercise his right to die with dignity. It is his life after all.

But he can't do it himself. He needs the help of his doctors. Will they do it?

More views and videos at www.realdignitytas.com 

Doctors working in hospitals see hundreds of terminally ill patients. They know in their hearts when a patient has little chance of making it through. They know the terrible side effects some of the drugs have on the patients, especially the elderly. They know despite everything they do, it will all likely be in vain.

They have taken the Hippocrates oath to save lives, so their hands are legally and morally tied. They have to continue administering pain-killers and hope their patients respond positively to the new drugs or treatment.

Click here to read more.

For elderly patients with a terminal illness, it is like being sentenced to a living hell. They don't have the strength to fight the illness, nor the will to live anymore. They just want to be left in peace to die. 

But for the family, they want to hold on to their loved one, even when he begs to be released from this endless suffering. To stand by and watch someone dying without doing everything possible to save him is against all that they have been taught - that life is to be valued and preserved whatever the cost, especially the life of a dearly loved parent or child.

The family also knows that prolonging treatment may drain every cent from their life savings, and leave them in dire financial straits. There are families who have taken huge loans or sold their only home to pay for medical and hospitalization fees that could easily run into hundreds of thousands of dollars. And all for what? 

Euthanasia or doctor-assisted suicide is illegal in most countries. Holland is one of a few countries that support euthanasia. No doctor would want to risk losing his license if found guilty of such 'mercy-killing'.

But this may soon change in the UK, if the Assisted Dying Bill is passed by Parliament. The Bill will be debated this week. Will other countries follow suit, and allow for debate on this controversial issue?

Desmond Tutu pleas for 'assisted dying' before historic Lords debate. Click here to read more.

Religious groups view life as sacrosanct. Only God has the power to take away life. However, retired Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa supports a person's right to die with dignity. He views Nelson Mandala's prolonged final days as 'an affront to dignity'. Read his article in The Guardian "Desmond Tutu: a dignified death is our right – I am in favour of assisted dying".

For one doctor's personal views about death and dying, do read his article "Our unrealistic views of death, through a doctor’s eyes" published in the Washington Post. Highly recommended reading.

And finally, for both sides of the controversial issue, do read "Right-to-die: For and against assisted suicide" in the BBC News.

Related article:

Would you pull the plug when the time comes?

WOULD YOU PULL THE PLUG WHEN THE TIME COMES?

There is a fine line between mercy killing and murder. When a man helps his terminally-ill spouse end her life as she could no longer endure all the pain and suffering, is he an accomplice to a suicide or is he a murderer? Or neither?

To the police of Palm Springs, CA, it was a crime punishable by law. On July 2, 2012, they arrested Bill Bentinck, 87, on suspicion of murdering his wife, Lynda, 77. He had disconnected her oxygen supply at her instructions. She had been suffering from emphysema, and had found the pain increasingly unbearable. Fortunately for Bill and his family, after spending three days in jail, he was released due to 'lack of evidence' against him.

Read the full article here...

Compassionate killing or euthanasia is still considered a crime in most countries. In 2002, the Netherlands became the first country to recognize euthanasia. Although more countries have since followed suit, including Japan and Columbia, the number remains small. Oregon is the only state in the US where physician-assisted euthanasia is legal. In Australia, it is legal only in the Northern Territory.

Life is precious, and we all want to hold on to it as long as we can. But does being kept alive with machines and endless medication constitute life as we know it? Would it matter to the patient who is already in a vegetative state with no hope of ever regaining consciousness? Is there quality of life at all?

Who has the right, the final say, to pull the plug? The patient? His doctor? His family? While the decision is pending, the medical bills are escalating. Read this excellent BBC article on the ethical issues involved.

Medical expenses incurred to keep a loved one on life support can cause financial ruin to the family. In a welfare state, the government can ill afford to sustain the growing number of the terminally-ill for an indefinite period of time.

It is sad, it is tragic but that is the harsh reality of life, and death. All of us pray for a disease-free old age. And when the time comes for us to go, we want to go quietly and peacefully in our sleep.

But God decides when and how we should exit this life. If our final days are filled with pain , and there seems no respite from it, would we have the courage to say "Turn off the oxygen supply", or "Do not resuscitate"?

My dear friends' mom had what I call 'the perfect final goodbye'. Friends and family members from near and far (overseas) had come together to celebrate the wedding of Auntie's grandson. At the wedding dinner Auntie was a picture of joy, laughing and chatting with everyone, obviously delighted that all her loved ones were around her that night. I remember saying good night to her as I passed her table on the way out after the dinner. She was all smiles, and looking radiant.

The next day 13 May 2012, she passed away peacefully in the afternoon while taking a rest. She was 87.

I remember too seeing another auntie, one of my mom's closest friends, groaning in pain as she struggled to breathe, her body ravaged by terminal cancer. It was a sight that remains etched in my mind. That was in the 1970s.

I lost my dear younger sister in 2006. She was 56 at the time. In the last two years alone, I have lost several friends, some close, some not so close. There is a certain sadness as you read their obituary in the papers or on Facebook. You realize you are at the age where the roll call has already started. And you wonder when your name will be called...

Life is precious. Value it.

Related articles:

The Right to Live....or Die

Do not resuscitate...Let me die

When extending life means prolonging dying (includes video)

THE RIGHT TO LIVE....OR DIE

Devoted: Sir Edward Downes and his wife Joan (Daily Mail)

At what age does one begin to think of one’s mortality? 50? 70? 90? As we celebrate each birthday, we pray for many more to come. But what if old age brings with it a slew of illnesses and pain? Would we still want to cling on to life?

These questions came up after I read about Sir Edward and Lady Joan Downes’ assisted joint suicide on 14 July 2009. He was 85 and she was 74. The names are unfamiliar to me but what they did was heroic.

Sir Edward Downes, 84, was a celebrated conductor with the BBC Philharmonic. When his wife of 54 years was diagnosed with terminal cancer with only a few weeks to live, he decided that he didn’t want to live a solitary existence without her.

Although not terminally ill, Sir Edward was almost blind and nearly deaf. Not being able to read music scores or hear music was devastating to him. It was a joint decision to end their lives together. As assisted suicide and euthanasia are illegal in Britain, the couple sought the help of Dignitas, a centre for assisted dying in Zurich, Switzerland.

A flat in Zurich, belonging to Dignitas where assisted suicides take place. (Photo:TimesOnline)

Son Caractacus, 41, and daughter Boudicca, 39, were with their parents during their final moments. “They drank a small quantity of clear liquid, and then lay down on the beds next to each other. They wanted to be next to each other when they died. They held hands across the beds. Within a couple of minutes, they were asleep and they died within 10 minutes."

Suicide is often viewed as copping out when the going gets tough. But in the Downes’ case, not only is it a beautiful love story (together in life and death) it is also a story of courage and dignity. That’s my view anyway.

When one's body is racked with terminal disease and unbearable pain, with virtually no quality of life left, one should be allowed the option to terminate one’s life. Family members and doctors should respect the decision.

We want to be optimistic (what if the doctors were wrong? what if there's a cure? what if prayers can work miracles?) But we also have to be pragmatic (why prolong the agony? how much longer can we keep up with the medical expenses?)

It is a tough decision for the family, but a relatively easy one for the terminally ill. Ultimately, who has the right to make that final decision between life and death?