Monday, December 28, 2020
WHY I MADE 'MENITI SENJA' - BFM PODCAST
Sunday, December 20, 2020
MRS J IS THE FACE OF THE NEW 80
I love how Mrs J (as she is popularly known) wrote the book as part memoir, part self-help manual, part academic research. Indeed a refreshing new genre that makes the book an entertaining read for many. It is written in a simple conversational style that is easy for the reader to follow and enjoy, and absorbing enough to want to finish it at one sitting.
The pages are packed with photos of Mrs J's family and friends, and of memorable events from her childhood, teaching career, marriage, parenthood and finally grandparenthood. Through it all, Mrs J weaves a narrative that touches us as well as enlightens us. We journey with her as she draws us into her worries, her fears and her triumphs. It is a written record of an amazing life, filled with joys and tears, achievements and disappointments. The book is her legacy.
Her experiences are not that different from ours. However, how many of us can honestly say we have learned from our experiences and have no regrets? Mrs J believes that every setback is an opportunity for us to learn from and do better next time. With purpose, perseverance, positivity and most of all, passion, nothing can stop us from achieving our goals. Just as how her 'cartilageless knees' did not stop her from hiking and mountain trekking. Indeed it was her knee pain that drove her to take up Nordic Walking in 2012. It has since become an integral part of her exercise regime and lifestyle. Mrs J is Malaysia's first certified coach for Nordic Walking.
There are tips on health, wellness and wellbeing (exercise, keep moving, fuel for the brain and body), what to eat (Mrs J avoids the 5 whites), how to keep the romance burning in marriage (plenty of touch and oodles of love!), the importance of social connections (let's get together and celebrate life), how to keep stress at bay (adopt a positive attitude) and so much more.
Each nugget of advice is backed not only by Mrs J's personal experience, but also by meticulous research. Each chapter is peppered with copious sprinkling of inspirational quotes. Mrs J is proof that all her tips work. Those of us who were at SeniorsAloud's recent interview with her on Zoom would have seen Mrs J glowing with robust health and radiating a zest for life all through the 90-min session. Seeing is believing, right? No gimmicks, no filters, just Mrs J as she is - live on screen. By the way, she shared that she uses coconut oil for her skin. Must be more effective than any branded moisturiser, judging from her smooth complexion. Barely a wrinkle in sight.Mrs J's book is self-published and not available at bookstores. To get a copy of Mrs J's book, whatsapp her at 012-200 5276. It is RM50 a copy. Add Rm10 for courier charges. You may also arrange to pick up a copy at specified locations. The book makes an excellent gift. Very limited copies left, so do contact Mrs J asap.
Tuesday, November 10, 2020
GO PREPARED TO ASK AND ANSWER WHEN YOU SEE YOUR DOCTOR
Here are the 10 questions we might want to ask our doctor. The list is by no means exhaustive.
1. What is the cause of my illness?
4. Why do I need this treatment?
6. Are there any alternatives?
7. What are the possible complications?
9. Will this medicine interact with medicines that I'm already taking?
Do watch this 7-minute video above that features patients and clinicians discussing the importance of asking questions and sharing information.
Wednesday, October 28, 2020
THE RISE OF THE NEW 'OLD'
Saturday, September 5, 2020
A BLESSING TO BE A GRANDPARENT
To a couple with young children, nothing is more helpful than having supportive grandparents who are there to help as babysitters. Young mothers, in particular, can return to work after their maternity leave knowing that their little ones are in safe hands. To them, it is a far better option than leaving their children with a domestic helper or at a day-care centre.
From a young mother of two in 1973 to a grandmother of five in 2014. (Tap on pic to enlarge) |
Says one grandmother, 67, “No more changing diapers and dealing with toddler tantrums for me. At my age, it’s too stressful. Sure, if there’s an emergency, I’ll be there. I don’t mind playing with my grandchildren or visiting them, but hands-on babysitting? No thank you."
There are many who share the same sentiments.
On a family vacation in Phuket with Max, 6, and Reiya, 6 months. Photo taken in 2006. |
Max, 2, with my sister. Me and Max in 2018. He towers over everyone in the family. |
Allie, Max, Hana and baby Reiya. Photo taken in 2006. |
With Ryder in 2014 and in 2020. With him around, there is never a dull moment. |
There will come a time when all my grandchildren will prefer to hang out with their friends than with their grandma. Indeed, it is already the case now. l miss hearing the pitter-patter of little feet, of hearing my grandchildren squeal with delight and run to hug me when they see me at the front door. I miss their excited cries of "Grandma is here!" That's the sweetest music to my ears. My grandchildren are truly my joy and my blessings.
I am now in my 70s. God willing, I will see all my grandchildren graduate, and be around still to see them start their own family. With long life and good health, I will be around to play with my great grandchildren.
PS: I love all my grandchildren dearly and equally. But each one wants to think he/she is my favourite. 😀
Sunday, August 9, 2020
A DAILY STRUGGLE FOR THE CITY'S DESTITUTE ELDERLY
Hard times are here, and they get harder by the day. Jobs are scarce and money is even scarcer. For the elderly with no family and no financial support, it is a daily struggle to stay alive. Some have lost their contract jobs due to months of business shutdown. They are desperate to look for any kind of work but who would want to hire a senior citizen even if he was fit and capable?
Since 10 June when restrictions on movement were lifted under the RMCO, I have been spending time with the homeless and destitute elderly in downtown areas like Pasar Seni, Bukit Bintang-Imbi, and Pudu. Their numbers are increasing each day and the queues for handouts keep getting longer.
Is it possible for an elderly to live without a roof over their heads and without a dime in their pockets? Yes, and this is how they do it. Not that they want to, but many have no choice due to various circumstances beyond their control. For some, their plight is of their own making.
Some have families but shame stops them from returning to their homes. Others choose the streets over welfare shelters as they want to retain their freedom and independence.
The street elderly are mostly men. It is not safe for women to be out on the streets at night. So they share rooms in the nearby budget hotels and shophouses. With their meagre savings fast dwindling, they are aware they may have to move into welfare homes soon. Some have family homes to return to but they prefer to stay out the whole day returning just to sleep. They do not want to be an additional burden to their adult children who have their own financial commitments to take care of.
Take a walk in the downtown inner city areas any time of day. You will see the homeless sleeping at bus-stops or on cardboard pieces spread out along the five-foot ways of shuttered shops. Some have set up home under flyovers or overhead bridges. Some beg for alms, others search the trash bins for recyclables they can sell for a pittance.
Those who have been on the streets long enough know where to go for free breakfast, lunch and dinner. On weekdays Kechara Soup Kitchen (KSK) gives out vegetarian meals and bottles of drinking water. Samaritans like Ee Lynn and her friends have pooled their money to provide 100 food packages for their weekly food distribution downtown. There are other groups providing sustenance too. Food is not so much a problem as money.
Inset: vegetarian rice with taufu. Food donated by Ee Lynn and friends. |
While some have marked out their territorial space along the pavements with their belongings, others are more itinerant, dragging their trolley bag of clothes and essentials from place to place. There is safety in numbers so it is common to find them congregating in groups. The solitary homeless elderly is rare.
Taking daily baths is a luxury. They wash their clothes with pails of water sourced from restaurants nearby, and leave their laundry to dry on bushes or makeshift lines. The street corners and back lanes are their urinals. Hence the overwhelming stench of pee that assails the nostrils.
Many community kitchens and NGOs providing free meals before Covid-19 have remained closed. When I heard that Kechara Soup Kitchen (KSK) was open for food takeaway, I dropped by on 15 July with my daughter Belle and my grandson to see how we could help. Ryder, 6, was so touched by what he saw that when he went home, he took out some money from his piggy bank and returned a few days later to give his 'ang-pow' to a 78-year old aunty who collects recyclables to sell. She earns less than Rm3 a day.
I had kept in touch with Justin Cheah, KSK program director, since my first Saturday night food distribution with KSK in 2010. I had written about it in my blog article (The kitchen that feeds all who come). Our chat that morning led to one thing and another, and concluded with SeniorsAloud stepping in to sponsor 436 food packages for the upcoming Saturday night food distribution.
Photo credit: Vivian/KSK |
The night scene was quite different from the daytime one. The elderly we met seemed tougher and more acclimatised to rugged living. Some were happy to chat and share their stories, others were more reticent. Some were asleep so we quietly left the food beside them. We finished distributing all the packages by midnight.
I have been visiting the elderly downtown several times a week now. I know many of them by name and they are always eager to chat. A sign of boredom? Perhaps. They have nothing to do the whole day.
This is what I have learned about them:
- The street elderly are very resilient and stoic. They have learned to accept and live with the vagaries of life.
- They have developed a strong immune system built over years of tough living on the streets.
- Some of these street elderly are abandoned by their families. Many are single and have lost touch with their siblings.
- They have a sense of pride. They want to work and support themselves. They do not want to depend on handouts.
Recommendations:
- Introduce legislation that supports filial piety, similar to the Maintenance of Parents Act in India, China and Singapore.
- Set up more old folks homes and welfare shelters for the elderly and ensure they are properly and efficiently managed.
- Have better coordination of food donation and distribution services to prevent wastage.
- Establish a skills-based training centre for older people to enable them to be self-supporting.
- Remove ageism in employment. Older people in their 50s and 60s are still capable of contributing to the economy.
- Introduce programmes and activities that strengthen family bonding and intergenerational understanding.
- Promote an active lifestyle so that every citizen will age well. Our health and well-being is our responsibility. Start early. Start young.