DON'T GET LOST IN TECHNOLOGY

Instructors who conduct courses for seniors must bear in mind that older people learn differently from younger people. - LILY FU

Older seniors in their 70s and above are finding themselves lagging behind in a world that is increasingly becoming unfamiliar to them – the world of technology. Doing things the old way has almost been completely replaced with going online for transactions, services and communication.

The ubiquitous mobile phone has become our office, our link to family and friends, our instant access to knowledge, entertainment and more. We can’t leave home without our phones. We suffer panic, a near heart attack if we have misplaced our phone, or if it’s stolen.

It’s amazing how many apps we have on our mobile phones. There are apps for 1001 uses, from booking a ride to checking our EPF account. My daughter insisted that I installed a certain app that allows her to track my movements. For my safety, she tells me. She knew which places I visited when I was in Luang Prabang, Laos and what time I came safely home after a night out. It would be impossible to hide any secret rendezvous from her! The marvels of technology.

Most banks have stopped issuing savings account books. Account holders have no choice but to switch to online transactions. Parking has become cashless. For those taking public transport, you can only board if you have a RapidKL card or MyKad. Cash is not accepted. The reign of cash as king is in its final days, to be replaced by digital debit cards as ewallets.

Except for home deliveries and courier services, our email address is now more important than our domicile address. Our mobile phone number takes precedence over our landline phone number. How many of us still have a fixed phone line at home anyway?

No escape

Older adults learning to navigate online apps e.g. Waze, Google Drive on their mobile phone and desktop 

Whether we like it or not, want it or not, there is no escape from the technology around us. If we want to fit in, we have to adapt, to learn and to use what we have learned. Those who don’t will get left behind in the digital era.

Unfortunately, there are older adults who have a phobia about learning new skills. Once they reach 60, they think their brains have also reached retirement age. They feel they are too old to learn new skills.

I recall in the late 1990s when teachers were told they had to start using the computer to teach, some of my colleagues in the high school where I was teaching opted for early retirement! They didn’t want to be stressed out learning this new technology. Others took up the challenge and eventually were able to teach confidently using the computer and the projector instead of depending solely on the textbook and blackboard.

Goes to show older adults can learn new skills if they want to, if they have to.

Then there are those who think they have no need for such new learning. They can do without the internet. They don’t need to learn how to use apps. If they have to do any online transactions, they can always get their adult children to do so for them. Fine, to each his own. But just know that it is practically impossible to avoid the use of digital devices and technology. It’s not just apps but also kiosks. There are now kiosks that dispense hot meals and kiosks where we can renew our driving license, or pay our utility bills. Many restaurants are now using QR-code for food orders instead of the printed menu.

The dilemma is this: Who is there to help teach elderly Malaysians basic digital literacy? Who is there to guide them on how to install and use an e-hailing app, buy tickets online or use Waze? There is as yet no educational institute specifically set up for older adults where they can enroll for courses to be digitally empowered, to navigate apps with confidence and access social media platforms.

The closest we have to an institute dedicated to lifelong learning for older adults is University of the Third Age (U3A) Malaysia. It offers a wide range of online and onsite short courses, including computer skills and digital skills for Malaysians aged 50 and above. It is based at MyAgeing – the National Research Institute on Ageing at Universiti Putra Malaysia. It provides an avenue for older adults to pick up new skills without worrying about exams or tests. They learn because they want to, because they now have the time and opportunity to do so.

There is no such thing as being too old to learn something. When an opportunity to learn something new and useful is made available to us, we should seize it. Where there is a will, there is always a way. We have to adopt a positive attitude towards learning. We shouldn’t let the fear of failing or the lack of confidence be our excuse for not learning.

There are many examples of successful learning especially when there is strong motivation to do so. The need to remain in touch with family and friends is a powerful incentive. This is evident in how quickly older adults have embraced Whatsapp and Zoom, for example. Facebook is now dominated by older users, resulting in younger people migrating to Instagram and Tik Tok!

A different classroom

Trainer Osama demonstrating how to convert an image to pdf. It is important to take into account that older adults learn differently from young adults. 

Instructors who conduct courses for seniors must bear in mind that older people learn differently from younger people. Hence, they need to be familiar with “geragogy’” – the theory of how older people learn. For instance, instructors should teach at a slower pace, use bigger font size for text and show some respect for their “senior” students.

It is easy for older learners to forget how to use applications after a lapse of time. There is no point learning something and not applying or practicing it. How often have we heard older adults say they can’t remember their account password, how to check their email or download and install an app. Learn smart – it’s near impossible to learn everything, so be selective. Limit your learning to what is useful to you, so you won’t forget it.

The benefits of empowering older adults with digital tools are enormous. Aside from the convenience of carrying out tasks online and engaging socially online, seniors who run home-based businesses can make use of apps to promote their products or services and have the know-how to reach a wider market.

We are never too old to pick up new skills. All it takes is a change of mindset and attitude. The world is our oyster if we let it be. We may struggle with new learning, but if we are motivated enough, we can do it. Nothing beats motivation when it is something enforced or made compulsory.

With an empty nest at home and time on their hands, the retirement years offer a wonderful opportunity for retirees to acquire new knowledge and prevent the brain from getting rusty.

Learning new things helps us to grow old gracefully, keeps us alert and updated on the latest technologies. Group learning also promotes social interaction and makes our days more enjoyable and meaningful.

Use it, or lose it – that applies to our brains as well. If we continue to use our brain, we are exercising it, stimulating it to think, to analyse, to reason, to stay mentally sharp. Learning new things throughout our lifetime can help reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease. Our memory improves when we challenge it with learning new skills. Learning something new also boosts self-esteem. When we learn a new skill, we feel a sense of achievement and pride. When we add a new qualification to our name, we earn respect from others. More doors are open to us for employment.

So make this day the start of new learning. Embrace technology for it is here to stay.

(Lily Fu is a gerontologist who advocates for seniors. She is founder of SeniorsAloud, an online platform for seniors to connect and enjoy social activities for ageing well.)

The print version of the article can be accessed at https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/family/2025/01/16/starsilver-dont-get-lost-in-technology/

FIND YOUR TRIBE

Find your tribe - buddies who will be your support system as you journey through life in your later years. - LILY FU

Just a few decades ago, the multi-generational home was the norm. Up to four generations would live together under one roof. Today it would be a challenge to find two generations of retired parents and their adult children living under one roof. As society evolves and as lifestyles change in tandem with greater access to education and travel, adult children move out of the family home to live independently, with some settling overseas or in another part of the country.

With the children all grown and flown, the family home is now an empty nest. This is a period that can make or break a retired couple’s marriage. The Covid years was a good test.

With restrictions on movement, long-time married couples found themselves with only each other for company 24/7. A good opportunity to rekindle romance, or just the opposite – they get on each other’s nerves. If there is no meaningful communication between husband and wife, the days would be painfully long, and a test of patience and tolerance towards each other.

The couple has nothing much to say or share with each other. Silence prevails at meal times. At best the daily verbal exchanges are reduced to “Dinner is ready”, “I’m going out with my friends”, or “Have you paid the electricity bill for this month?”

Mere formalities or inconsequential utterances from old habits.

On the other hand, there are couples who grow closer now that they have the luxury of time and privacy for each other, something they did not have during the years of raising their young children. It is a time to revive fading intimacy, to appreciate each other again, and to value the limited time left in their twilight years.

For as surely as the sun rises and sets each day, there will come a day when one will go before the other. What happens then? Will the surviving spouse look forward to having the whole house to himself? Does this signal total freedom and independence to do as he likes? Or is this the start of a downhill spiral from loneliness and bereavement to depression, with no loving wife to care for him now that she is gone and he is alone.

What about the adult children? Would they open their home to their now-single parent? And would the latter choose to remain in his own home and eventually end up in a senior living facility?

If the couple’s marriage was a rocky or loveless one, then bereavement can mean freedom and liberation. If the wife has spent years looking after an ailing husband, bereavement would also mean an end to the stress of having to care for him.

For these widows, they would want to remain single. They would not entertain the possibility of marrying again. At best, they may have partners or companions but not with a view to tying the knot the second time.

There are also complications arising from a second marriage. What if the children of both sides are not too excited about the prospect of having a stepmother or stepfather? What about inheritance of property and assets upon the death of their parent? This could cause resentment from the children if an outsider enters the family picture and gets a share of their father’s assets.

Silent issues

These are real issues that many senior citizens acknowledge silently but are reluctant to bring up with their children. Having lost their spouse, they may face an uncertain future alone. They can’t and shouldn’t grieve forever. Who would take care of them in their old age, especially if they do not have a strong bond with their children?

Which boils down to the question – how prepared are we to face the future as a solo senior? Who are solo seniors? They are seniors who live alone by choice – they opt to remain single.

There are others who do so due to circumstances as in the loss of a spouse, they are divorced or separated. Other reasons include elderly parents not wanting to be a burden to their children; there is no spare room in their children’s home for them; their lifestyle differs from that of their children.

Whatever the reasons, it is estimated that as many as 9% of older Malaysians live alone, and the number is set to rise.

While solo seniors may welcome the independence, they need and seek social connections. We are social beings. There are things we can’t enjoy or do alone. There is no pleasure in eating every meal alone, or having no one to chat or laugh with every day. Your children are busy with work commitments. They have no time to spend with you.

Whatever the case, you do not want to be on your own all the time, with no one to go out with, share your fears and problems with. That is why elderly individuals who live alone end up keeping a pet dog or cat for company. Loneliness and social isolation in the elderly is a serious social ill that needs to be addressed.

The fastest way to deal with this is to take action ourselves rather than wait for the government to address this growing social problem. One effective solution is to seek out social groups that you can fit in with, that offer a wide range of activities you can take up.

Over a period of time, you will get to know certain individuals that you can click with. And if it’s mutual, they will be your tribe.

What is a tribe?

It is a group of what young people refer to as BFF – best friends forever. They are your buddies, your inner circle of friends. They will be the ones journeying with you, supporting you through all weather, and be there with you till the end.

A tribe is formed organically through getting to know other seniors at social gatherings and activities.

Your tribe doesn’t have to be big. What is more important is being able to trust one another, and be there for one another. Your tribe should preferably have a mix of different ages, from 60s to 80s, of both genders and include other solo seniors as well as married couples.

If you haven’t found your tribe, don’t wait too long. You will be amazed how having buddies to do fun things together can improve your mental health and wellbeing. The days no longer drag by. Indeed, there is something to look forward to each day: A movie outing, a concert, a hike, a trip, a game of pickle ball, a dance class or an AI workshop. An endless list of activities to fill the hours happily while enjoying some quiet time too when alone at home.

You get to enjoy the best of both worlds, with friends and by yourself. This is how life should be for solo seniors.

Lily Fu is a gerontologist who advocates for seniors. She is founder of SeniorsAloud, an online platform for seniors to get connected and enjoy social activities for ageing well.

(The print version of this article was first published in the Star on Wed 18 Dec at this link:

https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/family/2024/12/18/starsilver-finding-your-tribe-in-the-golden-years