Thursday, December 6, 2012


Here we go again. Some women (and men) never seem to learn. No matter how many times they have been warned about it, they still turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. I am referring to the recent spate of articles in the media about online scams targeting these gullible souls.

What sort of women make easy victims of these unscrupulous Romeos who hide their identity behind the anonymity that the internet offers? The first word that comes to mind - LONELY. But then again I know of women who are lonely but they know better than to be suckers for scams. What they are not is DESPERATE.

Cover story in The Star 4 Dec
When a woman is desperate, she makes herself vulnerable to anyone who shows even a tiny speck of interest in her. She laps up all the flattery that is showered on her. She is so desperate for attention and love that she throws caution to the wind and grabs at what she believes could be her last chance for happiness.

Why this desperate? Because she knows the clock is ticking against her. Because she has left behind too many broken relationships and desperately want this one to work. Because she has such low self-esteem that she wants to believe any compliment paid to her. There must be scores of reasons why such women willingly part with their life savings, their jewelry, their property to men they barely know.

When a woman is this desperate, she goes online to look for friends. Facebook makes it so easy to connect with people. I get messages daily from guys wanting to know me better. I have not replied to a single one of them. I am not that desperate, nor will I ever be. I have too much going on in my life to fret over my single-hood.

To all those who are lonely for companionship, find an outlet for your loneliness. Volunteer for community service, join a social network group that you can trust, sign up for a course where you meet like-minded people of your age.

In Singapore, the large number of single women became such a matter of concern to the government that in 1984, it set up the Social Network Unit under the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports to promote opportunities for singles to meet and hopefully find a life partner. In 2006 the unit was renamed Social Network Development (SDN). The matchmaking and dating services were outsourced to the private sector.

Love Gifts vouchers offered by dating agencies accredited by the Social Development Network (SDN).

All dating agencies in Singapore must be accredited by the SDN Trust Accreditation.  How successful is SDN in meeting its objectives? Statistics are not available, but one thing is certain - you won't find unsavory Romeos and Valentinos lurking behind pseudonyms to prey on women with lonely hearts. Not when Big Brother is keeping a watchful eye on everyone and everything that is going on.

Perhaps Seniorsaloud should start organizing social networking events to foster new friendships among our community members. I know there are singles out there as well as widows and widowers looking not so much for (re)marriage, but for companionship.

Drop me a line at if you would be interested in attending a networking luncheon for the 50plus. If we have enough response, we might just organize one to celebrate the coming festive season.


Pak Idrus said...

Are you looking too!

seniorsaloud said...

Single and available, but not desperate enough to be looking. And not gullible enough to fall for men who have nothing to say except sweet-nothings! They are a dime-a-dozen in cyberland.