WHEN THE MISSUS SAYS 'NO, NOT TONIGHT, NOT EVER!"

When the children have flown the nest, one would think that's the best time for married couples to enjoy each other's company. Having the whole house to themselves means having the peace and privacy to rekindle the romance that's been relegated to the back-burner when the children were growing up.

However, for many couples, that old loving feeling is long gone only to be replaced by a deep sense of loneliness, of unfulfillment and even regret at the realization that perhaps their spouse is not that someone they want to spend the rest of their life with.

Physical intimacy is not just for the young.

The situation is made worse when one partner has sexual needs that cannot or will not be met by the other partner. This is the case with 'At Wit's End' who wrote to the 'Dear Thelma' column about his problem. At 74, he is still sexually active, but his 68-year old wife has absolutely no interest in any sexual or physical intimacy. He claims she looks upon sex as 'dirty' and only for the purpose of procreation.

So what is the solution? Even 'Dear Thelma' doesn't have an answer. Her advice - "You have little option except to live with the situation or get another woman!" She's hoping that readers have a better solution to offer. Click here to read the original letter published in The Sunday Star (23 Oct).

Here's another letter, this one from 'Lonely Divorcee', who is longing for a relationship but doesn't know where to find good men. Click here to read the original letter.

Loneliness affects many older adults, especially single women in their 50s and 60s.

These two letters highlight the loneliness many older people are facing, whether single or married. Some see themselves trapped in a loveless or sexless marriage, while others have difficulty finding a companion to share their sunset years with.

Would it be fair to say that wives who reject their husband's sexual needs have only themselves to blame if he seeks sexual gratification elsewhere? Some wives would turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to their husband's extra-marital affairs as long as he continues to provide for them. However, the number of wives now demanding a divorce is rising. Statistics show that gray divorce is on the increase, with 66% initiated by the wife.

"They were married and lived happily ever after" has become a myth. Today, when we look at young married couples, including our own adult children, we can only pray in our hearts that they will 'love and honour each other for as long as they shall live'.

We know the odds are heavily stacked against them to stay happily married for the rest of their lives.