FRIENDSHIPS THAT LAST A LIFETIME

Straits Times - 19 Jan '11

I was touched reading about Chia Chwee Leong and former Singapore PM Lee Kuan Yew's 70-year friendship. They were the best of friends while studying at Raffles Institution and Raffles College, but lost contact after World War Two when LKY left for further studies in the UK. Upon his return in 1949. LKY took the trouble to get in touch with Chia and renew their friendship. For the last 40 years, he has made it a point to visit Chia on the second day of the Chinese New Year for a chat over a glass of water. That is true friendship. 

As I think of friends from the old days, I wonder how many of us can honestly say we have made attempts to keep in touch? It doesn't help either that as we age, the memory of dear old friends fades with each passing year.

"Make new friends, don't forget the old.

One is silver, the other is gold."

Remember those lines? We used to write them in our classmates' autograph books as a reminder to keep in touch after high school. Sadly, we can now recall only a few faces and even fewer names. And when we finally make contact, it is to learn that a former classmate has passed on, another is battling cancer and yet another is suffering from Alzheimer's. Fortunately, there are friends who are still hale and hearty, and enjoying their second prime of life.

As we move into our retirement years, some of us may find ourselves living alone. Our spouse may no longer be with us, and our children have long left the family nest. Good friends provide an important support system that keeps us going. They help to fill the void. They are our travelling companions, partners-in-adventure, and pillars of strength in our times of need.

Me and Kemmy on New Year's Eve - friends for more than 30 years! Our children have become firm friends as well.

Having friends is good for our mental health too. Much as I enjoy my moments of solitude, I can't imagine a life where I have only myself or my cat for company. Loneliness can slowly develop into depression over the years. And that is something I want to avoid like the plague!

The next time you get an invitation to a class reunion or a small get-together of former school buddies, don't turn it down. At our age, who can tell when we will ever get another opportunity to rekindle old friendships again. 

Here's to OLD FRIENDS everywhere.

GOOD FRIENDS HELP BOOST LIFE SPAN

 

Friends on an outing at Lake Gardens, KL

What better way to celebrate Friendship Day today than with a toast to good friends everywhere! Did you know that having good friends adds years to our lives? "50% boost in survival chances," claims the Brigham Young University team in a BBC report dated 28 July 2010. The team had based their findings on 150 studies carried out on over 300,000 people from four continents over a period of seven years. It's hard to dismiss such impressive numbers.

Says Michelle Mitchell of Age UK, "It's well known that social relationships are extremely important to older people's well-being, yet sadly one-in-10 over-65s say they always or often feel lonely. Many people in later life struggle to maintain social networks due to mobility difficulties, access to transport or following the death of a spouse. The isolation and loneliness many face can also lead to symptoms of depression, affecting one-in-four older people."

That's one reason why Seniorsaloud came into being - to provide older folks, especially those in Malaysia and Singapore, a platform to network. It's reassuring to know we have friends out there who share similar life experiences. Whether we like it or not, there will come a time when we are less mobile. The internet will be our main link to our friends and the world outside our home.

So while we are still physically able, let's not sit around at home and mope. Get in touch with old friends. Organize fun outings. Volunteer your services to community-based NGOs. Extend your network of friends. You get to live longer. Having few friends is as damaging to survival as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or being alcoholic, reports PLoS Medicine.

Here's to good friends everywhere. May we all see many more returns of this day!

Cheers!

Related article:

MAKE TIME FOR OLD FRIENDS

MAKE TIME FOR OLD FRIENDS

Tony Blair or my Form 6 buddies? That was the decision I had to make yesterday. Should I go listen to Tony Blair speak on Day 2 of the National Achievers Congress, or meet up with my Form 6 classmates some of whom I haven't seen for 44 years?

It was an easy decision to make.

If you have lost touch with friends whom you grew up with, or studied with, it's not too late to re-establish contact. With Google, Facebook, Linked-in and a host of other social networking websites, it is easy enough to search for long-lost buddies.

When my college mates and I finished Form 6 back in 1966, we went separate ways. We were too busy furthering our studies, and then pursuing a career. Before we knew it, along came the children and then one financial commitment after another. There was hardly any time for friends or social activities. All too soon the children grew up and left to start their own career and family.

So now as we move into our mid-60s, we are left with an empty nest. With the children on their own, the mortgage paid up, and a bit of time on our hands, we have no excuse not to look up old friends.

My two years of Form 6 in English College, Johor Baru, were among the best years of my life. They were my coming-of-age years. I discovered rock n roll and BOYS! I learned to dance, went on dates and had my first taste of puppy love. All very innocent though. Most teenagers then were either too naive or too goody-two-shoes to try anything more than holding hands and exchanging love letters! It's a different world now, so I hear.

At our small get-together for lunch yesterday, it was truly a trip down memory lane. We cracked up as we reminisced over the silly things we did. We mimicked our teachers, and exchanged notes on who's where now, doing what, and with whom. And we remembered with some sadness those that have passed on.

Feeling blessed that we can meet up after 44 long years! (Click on pic to enlarge)

We had such a great time we are already planning for the next get-together in Singapore, and another one later in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea. One of our buddies started a newspaper there 16 years ago and has promised to organize for us a holiday to remember. If you are reading this and you are an English College alumnus from 1965-66, do get in touch with me through Seniorsaloud or Facebook. I would love to hear from you.

The next time an old friend invites you to a class reunion, GO. It might be the beginning of old friendships rekindled. Remember this quote that we used to write in each other's autograph books before we said goodbye in Standard 6 and Form 5? 

"Make new friends, but don't forget the old,

One is silver, the other is gold."

And here are two more worth sharing as we enter our second prime in life:

"Old friends are the great blessing of one's later years . . . They have a memory of the same events and have the same mode of thinking."

— Horace Walpole

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson