Monday, May 23, 2011


Finding love the second time around isn't easy. When you are divorced or widowed in your 60s or 70s, the odds of marrying again or even finding a companion are stacked heavily against you. Unless you live in the US or Europe where dating among seniors is a social norm, you are likely to invite frowns or raised eyebrows from family and friends alike.

In most Asian societies, a widow is expected to remain faithful to the memory of her deceased husband. However, a widower who chooses to remarry is congratulated, especially if his bride is young enough to be his daughter. What a catch! He's the envy of his friends. Let's admit it, the guys get all the breaks when it comes to the gender issue.

If you are a divorcee or a widow, any chance of a new love blossoming is quickly nipped in the bud. You have to deal with:

~ Your in-laws. They will never forgive you for dishonouring the family name.
~ Your children. They will resent a stranger taking over their beloved parent's place.
~ His children. They will regard you as an usurper of their rightful inheritance.
~ His relatives. They will view you as a gold-digger.

Those who couldn't care less about what others think may find themselves with a different problem. There are just not enough good men in their 60s or 70s to choose from. They are either taken, in poor health, or have sworn everlasting allegiance to their dearly departed spouse. My single girlfriends who are in their 60s would rather maintain their status quo than marry just to have 'Mrs' prefixed to their name. None of them are that desperate.

Those who are seeking companionship for their sunset years must take the initiative to go out and meet people. Or at least get involved in some online social networking.

A friendship club for seniors here in KL or Singapore will attract a lot of interest. Any takers?


Starmandala said...

My laptop is pretty good company most days, but it's healthy to keep the hormones flowing with a bit of real-life romance :-)

Nina said...

In fact, I found this article when I was looking for a companion for my grandma. She is healthy & fit but like what you mentioned, there isn't any such club or avenue for these seniors to meet friends/ companions. I'm from Malaysia and it would be great to start a club for the seniors.

seniorsaloud said...

Nina, join our SeniorsAloud community. Membership is free. NJust click the 'LIKE' icon on our FB page to join and be informed of our events. There is one coming up on June 16. More details will be announced soon on our FB page and blogs.