by LILY FU
In our youth, we loved the mirror. It was kind to us. We looked at our reflection first thing in the morning, last thing before we went to bed at night and countless times in between. We would never pass by a mirror without taking a peek at ourselves in it.
But, as the years roll by, we avoid this habit. Indeed, we dread to see the ageing reflection of ourselves – wrinkles, sagging skin, droopy eyes and all. Quite depressing.
As if to remind me that I am not spared, of late, images of ageing celebrities have been popping up on my Facebook. Celebrities who were once upon a time my teenage pop idols in the 1960s are now octogenarians.
Mick Jagger is 80, Paul McCartney, 82 and Bachelor Boy Cliff Richard is now 83. The “Young Ones” are now the “Young Once”! Age has also not spared the movie sweethearts from my school days. Goldie Hawn has turned 78, Ali MacGraw is a greying 85. The granddaddy of all must be Clint Eastwood at 94. Such painful reminders!
Some have aged well like fine wine; others are doing all they can to fight the physical ravages time has wreaked on them.
Whatever the heart desires
Let’s face it. Ageing is something that happens to all of us. At best, we can camouflage the lines with cosmetics, hide the grey hair with colour and, if we have the money, go for botox, face lifts, eyelid surgery, rhinoplasty and hair transplant. It’s not only facial. We can also go for a complete physical makeover of the body – breast implants, liposuction, silicone buttock implants and whatever the heart desires.
If money is not an issue, regaining physical youthful beauty is possible and available, from head to toe. Plastic surgeons are the darlings and gurus of rich older women.
If all else fails, and if we need reassurance that we still look good at our age, there is always digital technology to enhance our looks. Remember the days of glamour photos in the early 2000s? The photo studio would touch up the photos and make us look like cover girls. Now with filters on our smartphones and AI apps, we can be digitally transformed in a matter of seconds into a Ms Malaysia hopeful!
This desire to still look young and pretty stems from the social stigma attached to ageing. Why are women in particular so defensive about disclosing their age?
A simple question “How old are you?” is invariably answered with “Guess!” – No straight answers there. It becomes a game, an annoying one.
Why do women pour so much money into futile attempts to stay forever young? Judging by the advertisements in men’s magazines, our male counterparts are feeling the same way about turning back the clock.
More men are now chasing that elixir of youth too, as evident from the rising demand for skincare products for men.
Growing old is natural and inevitable. Why fight it or try to reverse it? That would be like trying to stem the tide. Age is just a number. We should be proud of our age. No need to hide it. We should look at our wrinkles as life-lines of experience, and our greying hair as threads of wisdom.
There is no such thing as “anti-ageing” and “reverse ageing”. These are terms popularly used to market beauty and skin care products. At best we can slow down the ageing process.
With an active, healthy lifestyle, we can look younger than our chronological age. Don’t be taken in by commercials that promote miracle anti-ageing products that promise to take years off our age within weeks. There are no short-cut fixes to prevent ageing. It takes effort, not miracles.
The youthful seniors among us are born with great genes that slow down the ageing process.
They look terrific for their age, whatever it is. We have all met such blessed individuals and secretly admire them, envy them.
For those among us who can only afford medium price-range cosmetics to look good, be comforted to know that less is always more when it comes to make-up for older women.
Unless we know how to apply make-up expertly to look younger and more natural, we may end up looking like a painted Chinese opera performer.
Piling on heavy makeup actually makes us look old! It’s a futile attempt at covering up. Who are we kidding?
Branded cosmetics are expensive. Wearing make-up is addictive. Once we are used to having our face all made up whenever we go out, or when we have company, we will feel naked to be seen sans make-up. It is ironic to pay for cosmetics that promise to give users that ‘bare’ or natural look!
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| Where are the over-50s in beauty advertisements? After all, there are plenty of beautiful older women who look good enough to lend credibility to skincare products that are being promoted. - NASHUA VOLQUEZ-YOUNG/Pexels |
Confident women don’t mind being seen in public with minimal make-up on their face. They know outer beauty is only skin-deep. It is what’s inside that makes them glow on the outside – inner strength of character and a positive attitude towards life. A cliché but true.
Having a passion for a worthy cause or devoting our time to helping others nourishes the joie de vivre in us. An excellent example is theatre doyen Faridah Merican, 84, a natural beauty sans makeup. She has found her calling in life and that keeps her youthful.
If going under the knife to look good makes you feel confident about yourself, or if you are doing it for functional reasons rather than aesthetic like getting dental implants, by all means go for it. Just don’t overdo it or you might end up looking really fake with all that plastic surgery.
Make sure you get an experienced and certified surgeon. There have been too many cases of surgeries gone wrong with the patient ending up with permanent scars or worse – disfigurement.
And if you are prepared to spend on costly anti-ageing products, make sure you do the research and find out if the products are genuine and effective. Otherwise, it’ll be money down the drain.
Where are the older models?
It’s time for the beauty industry to feature older women in their ads especially those promoting skincare and hair growth products. Enough of featuring women in their 30s and 40s to promote anti-wrinkle creams.
There is no shortage of beautiful women in the 50s and above who look youthful enough to lend credibility to the skincare product they are promoting.
With the world’s ageing population growing, the anti-ageing industry can only go from strength to strength in terms of revenue generated. This includes supplements to help us regain and retain vitality.
Aesthetic surgeons will likely be among the most sought after of medical professionals, as there will always be men and women who refuse to accept growing old.
For the rest of us who prefer to let nature take its course, just remember that growing older isn’t all that dreadful if we still enjoy good health, have plenty of good friends and a family that loves us and cares about us.
So let us accept ageing as inevitable, smile and make every single day count by living it positively. That to me is ageing gracefully.
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| Michelle Yeoh gestures in Paris, France, during the opening ceremony of the 2024 Summer Olympics. Yeoh, according to the columnist, is a great example of how to age gracefully.- AP |
Our very own Michelle Yeoh, now officially a senior citizen at 61, is showing us just how to age well.
The same with DJ Dave who is a dashing 76!
It takes courage to accept ageing. Not all succeed. When we harbour negative emotions like regrets, bitterness, self-pity, we will soon spiral down into depression. That’s the fastest way to age. We will end up looking older than our age.
Invest in joy, love, forgiveness, gratitude. Eat sensibly. Exercise regularly. Enjoy the sunshine.
Nourish our skin with moisturisers. Smile often. Have a hearty laugh every now and then. Make positive words a part of our daily vocabulary. Think good thoughts.
Know the most effective way to look good? SMILE! It’s instant, free, easy and guaranteed to make us look good and feel good. That’s why we smile for photos. A genuine friendly smile given is almost certain to be reciprocated. Try it.
The next time you look in the mirror, tell yourself this:
“I will wear my age with pride, like a badge of honour, for I have conquered; I have thrived; I have survived!”
(Lily Fu is a gerontologist who advocates for seniors. She is founder of SeniorsAloud, an online platform for seniors to get connected and enjoy social activities for ageing well.)
The above article was first published in the print edition of the Star on 31 July 2024, and the online edition on 2 August 2024.
