WHERE ARE ALL THE MEN?

Dr Pola (far left) and friends are the few exceptions to the rule of female-dominated senior groups. — DR POLA SINGH

Recently The Star carried an article titled Where are the women?, about the poor representation of women in the cabinet and how their presence is essential for better responsiveness to citizens’ needs.

After all, women make up almost half of our population.

The title got me thinking along a similar vein: “Where are the men?”

This was in reference to the lack of male participation in social activities for older adults. In practically every group activity organised by senior citizens associations or communities, the turnout is 90%-100% women. It seems the women are unable to persuade their husbands to join them for the various activities. Why the reluctance?

Men, with their muscles and bigger body size, are the stronger sex physically. But when it comes to health, they are the weaker sex compared to women. The statistics confirm this. Worldwide, women outlive men by at least five years. In Russia, it is more than 10 years! That is a lot of extra years of living.

In Malaysia, the life expectancy of women is 77.36 years and for men it is 72.66 years. That is a difference of nearly five years. A lot can be achieved during those extra years which can be spent with the family. Five extra years to enjoy being alive. No one wants to go off before their time. This is the longevity bonus made possible by medicine, science and technology. However, women seem to be the main beneficiary, not men.

One reason to explain this disparity in life expectancy is biological. Women have two X chromosomes and men have one X chromosome and one Y chromosome. The estrogen in women gives them better protection against diseases and may explain why they have a stronger immune system than men.

While we can’t change our genes, we can definitely change our lifestyle habits to live longer and in relatively good health. Women are born into their traditional role as caregivers, starting with caring for their family as mothers, daughters and wives. They look after their children, take care of their elderly parents and keep an eye on their husband’s health. This hands-on carer experience explains why women are more concerned about their health than men.

They go for health checks and practise healthy habits. Also, they have gone through child-bearing and childbirth, and are better at dealing with pain. In addition, women generally have fewer unhealthy habits than men. They don’t smoke or drink excessively, and they don’t take unnecessary risks.

The two genders have different approaches to retirement. Women welcome this period as an opportunity to be free to go out, enjoy social activities and focus on improving their health. What do retired men do? Well, mostly they hang out with their buddies to drink, talk about politics, play golf or watch football on TV. Or they remain at home doing nothing much, get bored and put on weight.Why the difference?

Having observed this difference between men and women in the senior communities I have been a part of for the past 20 years, I have to conclude it is true that men in general do not care about their health to the same extent as women. Just talk to their wives. They will tell you almost in exasperation, maybe even desperation, about their futile attempts to get their husbands to go for health checks.

Given that men are more prone to stress, anger and violence, they are at higher risk of stroke and heart disease. Men need to learn self-control and anger management or suffer the consequences.

They are reluctant to see the doctor or the dentist for regular checkups. They are less able to handle health issues than women. Referred to as having the “ostrich mentality”, men tend to be in denial mode when health issues crop up. Even when they experience early signs of problems with their urination, they hesitate to go for a checkup. The end result – prostate cancer that could have been avoided had they sought an early diagnosis.

Men want to preserve that masculine image even as they age.

This is evident in their preference for meat at every meal, especially red meat, than for healthier food choices like vegetables and whole grains. This need to uphold their masculinity is extended to their indifference to joining activities such as dancing, singing and painting.

No wonder courses for seniors offered by University of the Third Age (U3A), Malaysia, see more women signing up than men, year after year.

Men find women’s social activities too “soft”. No oomph, so I was told. To attract them to join the short courses at U3A, and make new friends, more “men’s courses” were offered, for example, Entrepreneurship, Digital Technologies and DIY, the latter conducted by the Kaki DIY founder himself. Still, the participants for the courses remain predominantly female.

Indeed, it has become a challenge to recruit men for social activities and voluntary community service.

Social networks

According to an article published by Harvard Medical School - “Mars vs Venus: The gender gap in health”, men lack social networks and support. Women find it easy to strike up conversations and make friends. Men, on the other hand, tend to shy away from social interaction. They feel a sense of awkwardness and discomfort in the company of strangers. They need to be aware that prolonged social isolation can lead to anxiety, depression and other mental issues.

Nursing homes bear testimony to women living longer than men. The residents at these homes and in many senior living facilities are overwhelmingly women. Some have never married, but the majority are widows who have outlived their husbands, sometimes by as many as 10 to 20 years! On a recent trip to Singapore, I met with the president of Wicare, a support group created by widows for widows and the fatherless. The group has been around since 1993 and currently has more than 700 widow members!

It is not that men are unaware of the health risks they are facing when they make poor lifestyle choices such as avoiding health checks and minimising their health issues. They are aware but are reluctant to do anything about it. Only they know the reason. I may be making generalisations and assumptions here, but the bottom line is this – unless our men take better care of their health, we may see a similar Wicare set up here for the widows they leave behind.

Men like Dr Pola Singh can lead the way. At age 74, he is an excellent example of good health and vitality. He hikes and exercises daily, watches what he eats, has an extensive network of friends, does charity, keeps himself mentally active by writing, and has a positive outlook on life. Let’s hope we see more men doing the same. Never too late. Never too early. Just get started. We love our men – our husbands, fathers, brothers, sons and uncles. We want our men to be with us for as long as possible. Can we get their cooperation on this?

Lily Fu is a gerontologist who advocates for seniors. She is founder of Seniors-Aloud, an online platform for seniors to get connected and enjoy social activities for ageing well.

(The artile was first published in the Star under the column 'Grey Matters'. It can be accessed at https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/family/2024/01/17/where-have-all-the-men-gone )

HOW TO BOOST YOUR SAVINGS AFTER RETIRING

Retirees face age discrimination in the workplace. However, there are other options to consider if you want to work post retirement. - 123rf.com

We love to have options, don’t we? Options allow us to choose what appeals to us, like the option to retire early at 40, the option to continue working after 60, or to return to work after retiring.

What about those who have no options, who find their retirement savings may not be sufficient to see them through the next 15 to 20 years? With inflation fast shrinking the value of our ringgit, can we say with certainty we are financially secure to enjoy our retirement years?

What is the solution? Go back to work? Easier said than done.

Retirees face age discrimination in the workplace. Society still has a negative perception of older adults as slow, frail, forgetful, unable to keep up with the times. Unless they have skills or experience that are highly sought after, retirees will have difficulty re-entering the job market.

With the wealth of experience, skills and qualifications that retirees have, it seems a shame to be discriminated against for re-employment. Some employers say retirees are too expensive to hire based on their last drawn salary. Others say older workers are not as capable mentally and physically as younger workers. It is unfair to paint all older persons with the same brush.

Indeed, those who have secured jobs are grateful and have proven to be dedicated employees, often going beyond their job scope. And they do not job-hop. Surely mutually agreeable terms can be worked out. Older workers could work part-time or flexi-hours and accept a lower pay.

Part-time option

One of the most popular encore careers (second career on retirement) is to set up a consultancy in your field of expertise. If you don’t want the stress of setting up your own company, you could operate a simple home-based business making use of your skills and passion.

Retired teachers can do edit and translation work or give home tuition. The more enterprising retirees that I know sell home-roasted nuts, freshly brewed Masala tea and packaged spices. Those who love sewing find a niche in making and selling tote bags, hats and purses, while those good at embroidery can demand a good price for made-to-order kebaya blouses.

Also consider offering physiotherapy and grooming services such as pedicure/manicure to stay-home elderlies.

The most popular still remains providing homecooked meals. If the menu is specially targeted at senior citizens, like offering healthy soups, food that is less spicy and not deep fried, such promotion will attract more orders.

Women have a clear advantage in generating revenue streams. They form the biggest percentage of shoppers. They hold immense purchasing power as they are the ones to do the shopping for the family, as well as handle the family accounts and budget. They understand prices, supply and demand in the market.

An excellent example are the women of Kelantan. Their business acumen is inherited from the women in their family before them. A passing down from their grandmothers and mothers.

As for the men if they are good in sports, they can build a clientele as a tennis or swim coach, a personal trainer or a yoga/taichi instructor specialising in teaching older persons. Or a dance instructor. Retirees enjoy learning new things, whether it’s picking up a new language, a music instrument or a new skill.

With the growing interest in the senior market, there is a demand for seniors to promote products and services. TV agencies and production companies are always scouting for older models for their clients.

It is more credible to use a youthful-looking senior citizen to promote anti-ageing beauty products or health supplements than to have a pretty young woman do so. The pay can be quite good.

If you don’t fancy working for someone else, you can always start your own business and be your own boss. This involves taking on some risks, especially financial ones. You will likely face rejection for a bank loan unless you have sufficient assets as collateral. If you are unable to secure a loan or find partners, you may have little choice but to inject your retirement savings into the venture. Do due diligence and study the market before you take the plunge.

If you are unsure of what to go into, the Japanese concept of ‘ikigai’, or purpose in life will help boost your chances of succeeding in the business or employment you want to get into. Leverage on your vast working experience, skills and interests. Think of yourself both as a senior consumer and senior provider. What services and products do you need or want but that are not easily available?

That could be a starting point.

What about being an entrepreneur?

According to Global Entrepreneurship Monitor, the more successful entrepreneurs are in the 55-64 age group, and the number is growing, in response to global population ageing. They have the experience plus the skills, networks and capital to start an enterprise. Still, it pays to be cautious when deciding on a new business venture especially if you have always been an employee, and now you want to be a business owner.

Retired professionals who have had successful careers have huge spending power. They are as yet an untapped market. If you can cater to them, you will be generating a good steady income. Seniors best understand the senior market. Think out of the box.

Be aware of the hard work you will have to put in as an entrepreneur. You can’t afford to take holidays, or pay yourself well. You have to sacrifice family time. You have to work out a business plan, figure out the logistics, determine pricing and find out what legal documents are required. This is just a fraction of the tasks you will need to deal with. Go in with your eyes wide open.

Social media marketing is crucial to get your service or product known to as many potential customers as possible. If you know nothing about e-marketing, get your adult children to come onboard and turn it into a family business venture. Or employ someone who can handle this aspect of the business for you.

Some retirees may feel investing in shares is the best option. Unless you have a track record as a successful investor, it’s best to stay clear of putting your hard-earned savings into stocks and other financial products that you know little about. Just because everyone is talking about cryptocurrency stocks it doesn’t mean you should rush into it.

If you really want to invest, consider investing in EPF. Not only is it backed by the government with guaranteed returns, you also enjoy compound interest on your savings. You will be happy to watch your savings grow each year.

Entrepreneurship, self-employment and re-employment are options available for retirees to boost their savings, and remain financially independent. This relieves the burden on their children to support them. It also eases the responsibility of the government to provide welfare and health care for the ageing population.

By continuing to work, these seniors contribute to the economy through the payment of taxes.

Successful senior entrepreneurs also create jobs through staff recruitment. It certainly looks like senior entrepreneurship and self-employment are the way forward for retirees seeking to supplement their retirement funds. It’s a win-win situation for all.

Lily Fu is a gerontologist who advocates for seniors. She is founder of SeniorsAloud, an online platform for seniors to get connected and enjoy social activities for ageing well.

This article was first published in the print edition of The Star dated 20 Dec 2023. It can be accessed at this LINK.