SOCIAL ISOLATION AND LONELINESS SHORTENS LIFE

Source: Straits Times

Feeling lonely? Look up your friends. Or get them to come over for a beer or mahjong. Don't fancy being at home? Take the car for a spin. Catch a movie. Have a meet-up over lunch. Join a club. The options are endless...if you are young, active and mobile.

But when you are in your 70s or 80s, and living alone either by choice or circumstance, social isolation and loneliness becomes a very real and serious issue. You realize many of your friends are no longer around. They have moved away or have passed on. Those that remain may be house-bound due to failing health, or have given up driving and can no longer drop by for a visit. Even your best buddy has become a social recluse. Soon you will be one too.

This is happening not just in Bangladesh, but in every country. Click here to read the full article.

Many from the older generation enter their twilight years lonely and alone. Where are their adult children? They have flown the nest and set up home elsewhere. If they are still living in the country, they may visit regularly. But if they have settled overseas, their parents will be lucky to get annual visits from them.

If you (or your elderly parents) are experiencing social isolation and loneliness, here are some suggestions:

1. Get familiar with the public transport system. Learn how to use apps to book a cab. Or arrange for someone to provide transport for you.
2. Adopt a pet or take up gardening. Looking after a dog or a plant helps to reduce the sense of loneliness.
3. Join social or religious groups that organize regular activities to promote fellowship among the members.
4. Learn to use the internet for social networking and staying in touch with family and friends.
5. Above all, have a sense of purpose. It could be learning something new, volunteering for community service, or embarking on a project. 

Oftentimes older people decline invitations to go out, not because they prefer to remain alone at home, but more so because they may have a health problem that makes it inconvenient for them to go out. For example, they may suffer from incontinence, failing memory or poor hearing, all of which can cause some awkwardness in a social setting. Soon they develop a reluctance to go out and socialize.

Prolonged loneliness can result in depression, declining health, or worse, suicidal tendencies. If the signs are there, seek counselling. Help is always at hand  if we take the initiative to ask for it.

Blessed are couples that have each other in their old age. But there will come a time when one will go first before the other. When that day comes, loneliness will set in. Their children should be alert to this. They should ensure their surviving parent gets extra care and attention to prevent the onset of loneliness and social isolation.

Related articles:

Growing old and lonely

When your family has no time for you

LONELINESS NEED NOT BE PART OF AGEING

According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, as of April 2012, 53% of American adults age 65 and older use the internet or email.

I don't have the figures for Malaysia, but based on a simple survey of the people I know or have met, I am inclined to think only a very small percentage of seniors here are internet users, and of those that are, the majority probably don't go online on a regular basis. Many have no interest at all in wanting to learn how to use the internet. Their reason (excuse)? "I'm too old to learn."

Which is sad, because there will come a time when their only connection to the outside world, to their family and friends may well be via the internet. 

Staying in touch is good for our health - AARP

Why do I say that? Well, this illustration above from AARP clearly explains why. Like it or not, as the years pass, we will find it increasingly more difficult to get out of the house for a trip to the shops or have coffee with friends. Already we are seeing this happening with our elderly parents.

We are social beings. We need to be in touch with people. Having a network of friends to spend time with and meeting people keeps us going. But when you spend much of the day alone, loneliness soon creeps in. From there, it is only a matter of time before you sink into depression.

You can be living with your family. But with everyone so busy with their own interests, there is hardly anyone at home who has the time, the patience or the interest to sit down and have a chat with you. For the widowed, the loneliness leaves an emptiness that is hard to fill. You need someone of your age group that you can confide in.

So while you are still physically able, get out more. Go on a trip with your friends, catch a movie, attend a concert, volunteer for a community project, sign up for classes. Life is for living, whatever your age.

Be IT-literate. Learn to use the internet for social networking and emailing because one day that might be your lifeline to staying connected with your friends. 

And while you are learning to use the internet, you might as well learn how to use a smart phone or an iPad. Your children will either get you one for your birthday, or pass you theirs when they upgrade to the latest model. They will want to stay in touch with you, to make sure you are okay at home.

Embrace the digital world. Learn the basics. You really have little choice, unless you want to spend your retirement years in social isolation.