Thursday, January 11, 2018


Old people love to complain. They are never satisfied with anything. True or false? The answer is probably True. But they do have valid reasons for their grouses.

Let's put ourselves in the shoes of an 80+ old man. He has limited funds so he complains about soaring prices and GST. He recalls the old days when a cup of kopitiam coffee cost only 40 cents. Now it's RM1.80 at the mamak stall. The reason why you don't see many old people at Starbucks - it pains them to spend RM10 on a cup of coffee!

There was a time when he could travel and enjoy an active social life. These days he is mostly at home, unable to venture out alone because he no longer drives and there's no one free to take him out. His perennially-busy adult children have little time for him.

Once upon a time he lived to eat. Now he eats to live. His diet is restricted to low fat, less sugar and salt-free foods. How bland! No more spicy, oily deep-fried hawker food for him, no more culinary indulgences, all because he has a host of health problems.

His old hobbies no longer interest him. He doesn't read much because of poor vision. He has little interest in watching tv as the programs don't appeal to him. He misses the songs and movies of the 50s and 60s. He can't enjoy the videos on YouTube or listen to TEDtalks as he is computer-illiterate, and refuses to learn.

As a young man, he was blessed with good health and vitality. Now the passage of time has reduced him to a frail shadow of his former self, with all the accompanying aches and pain of old age. He wakes up in the morning, and wonders how to pass the long hours ahead.

Few friends drop by to see him, as they are in the same boat as he is, or have passed away. So he sits in his arm-chair or lies in bed the whole day long with only his memories to keep him company.

It is no wonder old people are bitter and grouchy. They have all the time in the world to gripe about everything under the sun, from high prices to corrupt politicians, and 1001 things in between. Such unpleasant company to be in.

What a horrible way to grow old!

It is the same with old women too. They still complain but much less than their husband. The big difference is they have more to keep them busy like helping with the grandchildren, doing community work or taking up some short courses. Maybe that's why they live longer. (Men, take note. Find something to keep you happily occupied.)

We can't stop growing old, but we can certainly choose how we want to grow old. It's all about attitude.

We can choose to grow old complaining about things from A to Z. Or we can choose to focus our attention on the things that make us happy, like our grandchildren, like being able to look back at happy times with fondness, and not compare them with the present just to complain. 'The past is a place of reference, The past is not a place of residence.' Move on. The present is where we are - make the most of it.

There is little point in harping on things that can't be changed. We should learn to accept whatever unfortunate circumstances we are dealt with and make the best of the situation. We can make our lives worth living.

The above is an updated version of an earlier article I wrote in 2012. I am reposting it in response to Betty White's quote in the Straits Times today (11 Jan 2018). She turns 95 this year. It is a timely reminder to look at life on the bright side. Negative feelings and thoughts can fester and lower our immune system against diseases. It drains us of our energy to keep dwelling on our pains and aches, fears and regrets. Besides, no one wants to be in the company of grouchy old people, not even their grandchildren, right?


Pak Idrus said...

Yes why dwelt on it. Let move on and enjoy life. Keep oneself healthy is the most important aspect of living.

seniorsaloud said...

Agree. Longevity without good health means longer years of physical pain and suffering.