Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Sunday, December 5, 2010

WHEN EXTENDING LIFE MEANS PROLONGING THE PAIN OF DYING


Death remains very much a taboo subject. Everyone faces death sooner or later, yet no one wants to broach the subject, even when death is knocking on the front door.

Blessed are those who live to a ripe old age, who quietly make their exit in their sleep with a smile on their face. As my 85-year old mother loves to put it, "they have gone on a world cruise with no return date".

But for many others dying is a long painful process where the quality of life is almost non-existent, and death offers a welcome release. I have seen family members in their final days hooked up to all kinds of machines, consumed by pain and barely conscious. It is a heart-breaking sight. And it begs the question - how far would you go to sustain the life of someone you love?

There are no easy answers.

Check on this link: FRONTLINE: FACING DEATH. It asks the question "How far would you go to sustain the life of someone you love, or your own? Here's a video from the documentary FACING DEATH

Friday, July 16, 2010

BEFORE WE KICK THE BUCKET...


Death is inevitable. Instead of treating the subject as taboo, why not look at it positively as relief from pain or a chance to meet our Maker? Better still, why not celebrate death with a party to die for? There is a website that allows you to do just that and more.

You can leave messages for your loved ones, post photos, write your bucket list, choose your favourite songs to be played at your wake, and even write your own obituary.


The website is a tie-in with the first-ever global Quality of Death Index commissioned by Singapore's Lien Foundation. The report was released just two days ago on 14 July. (Note: the site is no longer available.)

In overall rankings based on basic healthcare environment, availability, cost and quality of palliative care, UK topped the list of 40 countries. Among Asian countries, Taiwan ranked the highest at 14th, Singapore 18th, Hongkong 20th, Japan 23rd, Malaysia 33rd, China 37th and right at the bottom, India 40th.

If you would like more information on palliative care and pain management for patients as well as support for caregivers, do check out Singapore Hospice Council's website.

Related article: (Find out how these people spent their remaining years - most inspiring!) Click on the link below.

Knocking on Heaven's Door

Saturday, August 2, 2008

THINKING OUTSIDE THE CASKET

We’ve heard it before: 60 is the new 40 and 70 the new 50. Yet, there are many among us senior citizens who view themselves as 60 going on 80, and 70 going on 90. They think old, look old and act old. No wonder they feel they already have one foot in the grave.

Granted Death is a taboo topic in most Asian cultures, but, seriously, we all need a wake-up call sometimes before it’s too late and we are staring Death in the face. Do we want to spend the rest of our lives merely existing instead of living? The fastest way to speed up the ageing process is to think we are old and ready to die. Sure, we all have to die one day, but that shouldn’t stop us from having fun, adventure, romance and happiness while we can still draw breath.

To these senior citizens in their 50s and 60s, age is just a number.

When we think we are old, we are. Our thoughts are very powerful. They govern how we behave and react. There are folks who, upon reaching retirement age, retire not just from their jobs, but from everything that used to define who they are.

The first thing they give up is their physical appearance. In their minds, they are thinking – at my age, nobody gives me a second look, so why spend hard-saved money on unnecessary grooming. Their wardrobe consists mainly of auntie or uncle-type clothes in various funereal shades of black, brown and grey. If comfort is the reason, ok. But if they dress or act to please others, then they are allowing others to dictate how they should be living their golden years.

Ladies from the Malaysian Menopause Society turn models for a fashion show.

Many retirees allow themselves to put on weight and wrinkles by avoiding all manner of physical activity. Their excuse – oh, at my age, I shouldn’t exert myself too much. Over time, they build up a host of health problems like high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes and arthritis. They become frail and sickly, and dependent on others.

They give up making an effort to keep in touch with old friends or making new ones. They spend their days mostly at home, moping around the house, and idling away the precious hours. They have no interest in anything that will improve their lives or that of others. Their favourite pastime is complaining about the government. A close second is dwelling on the past with regret. No wonder they end up lonely, cranky, depressed and bitter. What a way to live their retirement years!

It’s easy to identify people who are ageing before their time. They say things like:

I’m too old to travel.
I’m too old to love again.
I’m too old to dance.
I’m too old to learn a new skill.
I’m too old to take up a course of study.
I’m too old to wear bright colours.
I’m too old to venture out on my own.
I’m too old to be outrageous.

It’s time to get rid of the ‘I’m too old to’ mantra and replace it with a new one:

I’m still young enough to learn a new language.
I’m still young enough to welcome romance into my life.
I’m still young enough to write a book.
I’m still young enough to do the salsa.
I’m still young enough to go on an adventure trip.

I'm still young enough to....ENJOY LIFE!

We must constantly remind ourselves to make the most of our golden years, not waste them waiting for Death to knock on our doors. It's so easy to fall into the ageing trap.

‘And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.’ – Abraham Lincoln