LONELINESS NEED NOT BE PART OF AGEING

According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, as of April 2012, 53% of American adults age 65 and older use the internet or email.

I don't have the figures for Malaysia, but based on a simple survey of the people I know or have met, I am inclined to think only a very small percentage of seniors here are internet users, and of those that are, the majority probably don't go online on a regular basis. Many have no interest at all in wanting to learn how to use the internet. Their reason (excuse)? "I'm too old to learn."

Which is sad, because there will come a time when their only connection to the outside world, to their family and friends may well be via the internet. 

Staying in touch is good for our health - AARP

Why do I say that? Well, this illustration above from AARP clearly explains why. Like it or not, as the years pass, we will find it increasingly more difficult to get out of the house for a trip to the shops or have coffee with friends. Already we are seeing this happening with our elderly parents.

We are social beings. We need to be in touch with people. Having a network of friends to spend time with and meeting people keeps us going. But when you spend much of the day alone, loneliness soon creeps in. From there, it is only a matter of time before you sink into depression.

You can be living with your family. But with everyone so busy with their own interests, there is hardly anyone at home who has the time, the patience or the interest to sit down and have a chat with you. For the widowed, the loneliness leaves an emptiness that is hard to fill. You need someone of your age group that you can confide in.

So while you are still physically able, get out more. Go on a trip with your friends, catch a movie, attend a concert, volunteer for a community project, sign up for classes. Life is for living, whatever your age.

Be IT-literate. Learn to use the internet for social networking and emailing because one day that might be your lifeline to staying connected with your friends. 

And while you are learning to use the internet, you might as well learn how to use a smart phone or an iPad. Your children will either get you one for your birthday, or pass you theirs when they upgrade to the latest model. They will want to stay in touch with you, to make sure you are okay at home.

Embrace the digital world. Learn the basics. You really have little choice, unless you want to spend your retirement years in social isolation.

WHEN YOUR FAMILY HAS NO TIME FOR YOU...

Screen shot from The Sunday Times May 6, 2012

You can be in a room full of people, and still feel lonely. The same can be said of the elderly living in a house full of family members. When your adult children have little time for you, and your grandchildren prefer to spend time with their friends or their electronic gadgets, you are left pretty much with yourself for company, more so if your spouse is no longer around.

This sense of loneliness can engulf the elderly person, and precipitate into bouts of depression. Over time, he is likely to develop thoughts of ending his life. After all, why prolong this life of misery where no one cares about your existence.

This is confirmed by Senior Consultant Psychiatrist from the National University Health System (NUHS), Professor Kua Ee Heok. He says, "The big concern is that a rise in elderly depression could cause suicide rates to spike too." Previous studies have shown that those who live alone tend to be more depressed than those who do not. But a new study conducted by NUHS shows that those living with others may also experience loneliness and depression.

About 25% of the 412 elderly respondents in the study showed signs of depression. All were aged 75 and above, and living at home with their family.

The good news is that, unlike dementia, depression can be prevented and treated more effectively. Family members should not dismiss signs of depression in their elderly parents as part and parcel of ageing.

What are these signs of depression? How would you know if you are at risk? You can take this simple test at the link below.

http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_795891.html

How can we prevent depression?

Studies have shown that those who remain employed longer or who volunteer to help with community service organizations enjoy better mental health. "Talk to people, stay engaged," advises Prof Kua.

The choice is ours to make. No point wallowing in self-pity. If our family members are too busy to take us out or spend time at home with us, it's up to us to look up our own friends and organize activities. We have to be pro-active. If we are house-bound, we can invite our friends over. There is always a solution if we care enough to seek it.

Join the Befrienders. Not only will you be bringing some cheer to the elderly who are lonely, but also helping yourself by keeping depression at bay.