(Do continue to send us your favorite jokes so we can share with others. Thanks! All credit for the images and jokes go to the original owners. A big thank you for cheering us up.)
WOMEN IN THREE PICTURES
MEN IN THREE PICTURES
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Men Are Never Depressed…Why?
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
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Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and can handle it .... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
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A BIT OF FUN
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
1. Men are like Laxatives.
They irritate the crap out of you.
2 Men are likeBananas .
The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.Men are like Weather .
Nothing can be done to change them.
4.Men are like Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars ...
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials .
You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores...
Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8.Men are like . Government Bonds ....
They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. Mascara .
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.Men are like Popcorn .
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .
You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get
or how long it will last.
12! . Men are likeLava Lamps .
Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots.
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
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1 comment:
Thanks Lily. I did laugh.
Have a nice day.
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