Wednesday, November 18, 2009

WHEN YOU LOSE A LOVED ONE....


Coping with the grief of losing a loved one is not easy. At our age, many of us would have experienced the pain of bereavement, whether it is the loss of a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling or a friend. With the passage of time, most of us find the strength to get on with life. But there are some who are so consumed with grief they are unable to function on a day-to-day basis. If unresolved, their grief may result in poor health, depression and even suicidal tendencies.

Last Saturday I attended a talk on grief counselling by Edmund Ng. Edmund is the founder of GGP Outreach. Its tagline is "Grace to Grieving Persons". Having gone through personal loss himself, Edmund was able to speak with conviction and credibility. His audience comprised mostly grieving spouses.

Having lost my dear sister three years ago, I could relate to everything Edmund said - the guilt, the blame, the bitterness and regret that a grieving person experiences when he loses a loved one.


Edmund Ng delivering a talk on "Helping Your Children Grieve Properly".

Here is a summary of Edmund's Do's and Don'ts for the grieving person.

  1. Allow yourself time and space to rest after the funeral activities are over.
  2. Accept help from your friends and relatives.
  3. Acknowledge that it takes time to heal the pain.
  4. Find an outlet to channel your thoughts away from reliving the loss.
  5. Take charge of your emotions.
  6. Be patient with your children. They are trying their best to cope too.
  7. Look after your health.
  8. Know that you are not alone. Seek a support group or a counsellor.
  9. Re-connect with other people.
  10. Remain active.
  11. Maintain a well-balanced diet.
  12. Don't fall prey to temptations like drinking and taking drugs.
  13. Don't make hasty decisions.
  14. Find strength and comfort in God.
  15. Keep a journal and record your thoughts and feelings.


Self-help from books.

For more related articles, click here. GGP Outreach will be holding its annual dinner on 13 December 2009 to honour widows and widowers, and give them some financial assistance. Admission is by invitation only. To get an invitation card, call 012-387 8668.

3 comments:

foodbin said...

very informative.

Antares said...

Such a wonderfully disciplined blogger you turned out to be! You never cease to impress me. Plugged your blog in today's post! :-)

el-f said...

Thanks, Antares! I have a good mentor and role model for blogging in you!